:: how to talk to your bar hero ::

I recently returned from Portland Cocktail Week where there was a mixed array of attendees, presenters, and staff in the bar industry at all levels from being in their first few years to being well into their second decade with tons of accolades. There is always the question of how do you approach someone that you have heard about or look up to and make it seem authentic and not awkward? And if you are at a level where folks might want to learn from you, how can you make yourself more approachable?

Back in the first year of graduate school, I joined the college radio station's punk programming team, the Record Hospital. I was trained by senior DJ Morgan Andrews who also played bass for the Boston band the Swirlies at the time. While Morgan gave me a lot of tips on everything on how mix records to how to do a proper ticket give away, the most valuable advice that he gave me that still carries on is, "If you want to meet a big rockstar, don't talk about music. Talk about something like skateboarding. That way they are on the same level as you." I remember talking to Dale DeGroff the first time. He, my wife, and I were all taking a way too early flight from Tales of the Cocktail 2010 to an airport in New York City (and we would be connecting on to Boston). When I spotted him reading the newspaper in the terminal and mentioned to my wife that I would like to talk to him, she encouraged me. I did not have a gameplan in mind, but luckily Dale is always on. He immediately asked where I was from and then praised how well various Boston bars and bartenders had done at the awards or in the events that they helped run that past week. That meeting went well mostly due to the fact that Dale is a consummate hospitalitarian, but I have had other meeting moments of people that I had looked up to on paper (especially due to their recipes that I had made in my home bar) that have come off as at best awkward and at worst traumatizing to me (or both of us) and that I wish had been avoided.

When I first met David Wondrich at an event in Boston, we talked extensively about music which was what he was writing about before he started focusing on cocktails for Esquire and his books. In fact, most future meetings with Dale have led into discussing music especially jazz, and it was probably a joy for him not to be talking about cocktails and bartending for a brief moment. Especially when Dale had a chance to talk about all the jazz greats that he got to meet or convinced to play an impromptu set at his bar. I have enacted similar tactics with other bar professionals, although first that commonality in an outside field or interest has to be gleaned whether in conversation, in observation, or by online research. During Portland Cocktail Week, I was surrounded my a lot of young bartenders with a smattering of amazing veterans like Shawn Soole, Kate Gerwin, and Toby Maloney. I tried to talk to as many people as I could especially while waiting in line for an event or on the shuttle bus. I connected with one 25 year old bartender not by discuss bartending or recipes but through literature; I was able to share books that I was reading during those years such as post-WWII Japanese authors and beat authors that taught me much about life and discovering our place in the world when I was their age. With a married distiller couple, I had an amazing conversation about our respective experiences vegetable gardening and pickling this season instead of discussing their whiskey (that I knew I was going to hear about later that evening). Others displayed clothing or other items of punk, goth, or metal theme that made for interesting ways of chatting with them about art, culture, travel, and music; it did lead into some discussions about the job ranging from how to advance in the craft to how to rework a resume. Even cool tattoos helped start a conversation with bartenders that were in a different style of bonding than the circa 2010 discussions of bars, recipes, and techniques.

Besides taking the initiative, I also made myself more approachable by dressing down in t-shirts and wearing brand swag of things like Fernet Branca, Malört, or Jagermeister instead of dressing up to my professional statute. Perhaps the professionalism is necessary when doing business or at certain brand events, but for Portland Cocktail Week, it seemed like a bit of overkill and out of place for the liberal bastion of "war-torn" Portland. Smiling, keeping a sense of humor, and joking with folks made me more approachable. A few folks sought me out for advice or renegade mentoring sessions (past the nine official ones I did that week) because I made myself appear welcoming. There were definitely a few people that I wanted to speak to that week but their intensity of clothes or facial expression was a little off putting. One bar professional was dressed to the nines, and I did not feel as comfortable approaching them although I did introduce my mentee to them since they were in the same city. Another bar professional who had a serious look to them, although I later chatted with them (since we had briefly met at the USBG nation event in Atlanta this past May) that led to an hour long phone call about career trajectories a few days after PDXCW was over.

The bottom line is to always be searching for that talk about skateboarding moment when not only looking up but over or even down to the less experienced. You never know where that great conversation will lead or how it will inspire you, so make yourself less intimidating and more inviting to see what can transpire. My wife was pleased and noted how much of the old me had returned back from Portland and how inspired I seemed as a result of these interactions all week.