:: we've all got to start somewhere ::

First published on the USBG National blog in May 2019.

The recent USBG Northeast Regional Conference in New Haven brought up an amusing personal anecdote about the city in regards to drinking. I grew up nearby in Milford, CT, and throughout high school, I was never part of the drinking culture due to my mom being rather strict and the threats of punishment too severe. During the summers, I worked at a day camp, and for my 18th birthday, two of the older counselors decided to take me out on the town in New Haven a month or so before I left for college. One of the early stops on the adventure was at the Vietnam Memorial in New Haven Harbor. There, one of the guys brought out Peachtree Schnapps, orange juice, and convenience store wax paper cups. Overlooking Long Island Sound, I had my first mixed drink – a Fuzzy Navel of all things.

Throughout college, I mostly stuck to beer with some forays into wine and occasionally a punch if that was what the only thing available at a party. But my vocabulary regarding asking for mixed drinks was not developed in the least. After college, I soon learned that requesting a Sour was not too bad, and Amaretto Sours went down pretty easily (even if they are more likely to give you a sugar high over getting you inebriated). Moreover, bartenders did not seem to mind making them especially when Sour Mix came in a bottle or was off the soda gun. When I fell into the Boston club scene, I learned that the main bartender at one place had several drinks that people requested with interesting names like the Mind Eraser or Red Death that she enjoyed making. While the components of the former were known, the latter was a well-kept mystery. One night, I ran into one of the sales reps who used to visit me at work (a non-restaurant job), and he offered to buy me a drink. It was phrased to suggest a mixed drink instead of a beer, and I panicked and asked him to get me a Red Death. He replied, “A what? No, I’ll buy it for you but I just want to know what’s in it.” I replied, “I don't know, it’s red, it’s strong, and everyone orders them from Terri the bartender.” At that point, I realized that I needed a more business appropriate drink.

I decided that I needed to learn how to drink a Manhattan. It was probably more Tom Waits songs than Charles Bukowski books that steered me in that direction, but somehow I knew that this was going to be my drink. So the next time that a friend inquired if he could buy me a mixed drink, I asked the bartender for a Manhattan. I remember freezing when she countered, “What whiskey?” I had no clue that I needed to be so specific. After a moment, I unfroze and unsurely blurted out, “Maker’s Mark,” and then turned to my older, wiser friend - “I did alright?” He agreed and said that it was indeed a whiskey and in fact a good one to make a Manhattan with. Luckily, the bartender did not ask me a litany of other questions using terms that I did not know at the time like, “Up or on the rocks?” Given my sweet tooth at the time, “A cherry or a twist?” would have been a no-brainer, but this was certainly uncharted territory, and I was learning the hard way – through figuring out how not to embarrass myself instead of being guided by the bartender or a friend.
I used this sense of confusion later when I became a bartender to alleviate stress in a guest by giving them an easy out. With a Martini, the questions could be numerous like gin or vodka? What brand? Olive brine or vermouth? How dirty or dry? Shaken or stirred? Up or on the rocks? Olives or twist? If I noted any lack of confidence, I would quickly suggest before all of the questions began, “I rather enjoy my Martinis with two parts of Beefeater to one part of dry vermouth with orange bitters and a lemon twist in a cocktail glass, but I can make it which ever way you’d like.” All of the sudden, taking an order was an act of empathy instead of merely commerce, and on the upside, drink orders came more quickly since the guest did not hem and haw over the confusing possibilities. Plus, if the guests opted for my way, they learned to drink better in my eyes.

I have been taught a lot about not embarrassing a guest when cutting them off and trying to get them to leave, but it is rare that I hear or read anything about how to get a drink order out as an act of compassion. All too often we expect our drinkers to know what they would like from experience, but even that can keep them in their liquidy ruts. However, when they do not know, it can be panicky – especially if they are on a date, with business associates, or with others whom they need to impress. And plenty are sensitive enough that the act of being confused alone is something that can sour the evening. While some of the rougher sort will just bark out, “Just make the darned drink!” to avoid the questions, the quieter sort might feel less welcomed by the questions. Getting a verbal drink order out of a guest can and should be an exercise in benevolence. Even on drink menus, all too often novices (whether to imbibing in general or to craft cocktails specifically) freeze up by obscure drink terms and ingredients. Learning to talk about menu items in a few simple words can guide them out of this maze; even carefully constructing the menu will not work with every guest, but it certainly will help.

As the craft cocktail renaissance hits its second or third wave, we have become too used to the guest who does not want their Negroni as an equal parts drink and inquires what vermouths the bar carries to best make their target flavor profile. Thus, we have come to anticipate advanced knowledge in our guests, and we can forget that many times some one is just there to be with their friends and has not figured out the exact verbiage or even drink styles that suit them. Be aware, and be the guide.

While I never made it out to the monument in New Haven Harbor that weekend to relive my youth, that weekend I did win a bottle of Crown Royal Peach in a raffle. One of my USBG chapter mates commented that I could at least have a peachy New Haven memory whenever I wanted now. A sip would definitely harken back to the days when the biggest decision was - “yes or no?” instead of the more stressful “What do you want?” and “How you want it?” Remember that what is in the glass should be a non-stressful decision, for it is not necessarily why they are even gathering that evening. Cheers to drinking better, but remember the road that took you there!